Grabbing the bull by the horns or Living Life to the fullest

This may seem like a bit of rambling but I’ve been wondering about a lot of things lately.

1. Why do we wait until someone is gone to tell them how much we love and appreciate them?
2. Why do we become trapped by the negative in the world and forget to see the magnificent beauty that surrounds us every day?
3. Why do we put off doing the things that make us happy, “the things we’ve always wanted to do”?
· There isn’t enough money
· There isn’t enough time
· There isn’t anyone to do it with and I don’t want to do it alone
· I’m afraid to try
· I’m afraid I will look like a fool

I certainly don’t have answers to all of these yet but I am working on it.

When we are children we believe that the people we love will always be here and we’ll never have to be alone. We take for granted that if we have a “boo boo”, our mommy’s will kiss it and make it better or if we need help with our homework or we are having trouble with a friend our parents are there to give us help and advice. When we become adults and have our children of our own we become the “boo boo” kissers but we never really stop depending on our parents for help and support. When I cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner completely on my own, I wasn’t really on my own. I called my mom what must have been 25 times that day to ask advice and get her recipes. Whenever I have trouble with growing tomatoes or planting flowers, I call my dad for his advice.

My parents are aging and their health is slowly deteriorating. My father has been pretty ill for some time and is now undergoing dialysis 3 times a week and has a pace maker. That’s pretty serious stuff and a real eye opener. I have to come to grips with the realization that my parents aren’t always going to be here. It’s a fact.

My father has always been an inspiration to me. He is one of the most affectionate people I have ever known. He is always hugging and kissing people he knows when he runs into them on the streets, sometimes to my mother’s chagrin, and is always friendly and kind to everyone. He is very passionate about the things he enjoys: gardening, hunting, beekeeping and his orchard. He is deeply spiritual and peaceful and it shows in everything he does. He’s never been one to talk just for the sake of talking so you know that when he says something it is from his heart. I like to think I’ve inherited some of these traits.

Some acquaintances of ours had twin daughters in November. One of the twins was seriously ill from birth and spent her entire short life in Children’s Hospital. After 4 months of surgeries, infections and illness she passed away 2 weeks ago. Her parents kept a blog of the experience and I find myself reading the blog every day. It is very sad but at the same time uplifting and inspirational to think how this little person gave so much love and touched so many people in so short a time on earth. I couldn’t possibly do her story justice so if you would like to read more, here is her blog.

Last week I was at the barn visiting Beauty and hanging out with my “horsey” friends. It was about 7:30 and just after sunset. As I was standing in the pasture letting Beauty graze a little bit and watching the sky change from brilliant gold to red to pink and then finally to dark I was awe struck by the beauty. Later I asked one of my friends if she saw the amazing sky a little earlier and she replied that she had not. She said she didn’t have the “Photographers eye” that I have. I was flattered by her remark, mostly because she thinks of me as a photographer and that makes me happy, but I also think it would be very sad if only photographers could see the beauty in a late evening sky, a bee on a sunflower or any of the wonders that I marvel at on a daily basis. There is beauty in absolutely everything on this planet if we only look. That is why so many times I am compelled to take photographs of rusty chains, a drop of water dripping off of an old rusty train car or an old bottle stuck in mud. To me those things have as much beauty as a beautiful flower or a sunset.

I’ve been hearing from a lot of people lately that they are doing things they have always wanted to do. My niece is getting a Harley, Richard is starting to keep bees, friends are traveling to distant lands, and the list goes on and on. I’ve always been a firm believer in doing the things that make you happy. Don’t put them off. You may not have the opportunity tomorrow. As for myself, I’ve just recently discovered this. I am starting to do more of the things I’ve always wanted to do like photography and writing and will continue to do more and more. Next on my list is riding. Tori has been riding for 9 years and has her own horse. When she started taking an interest in horses and riding it was always my intention to ride with her. I wanted it to be something that we could do together but 9 years later I still haven’t started. The biggest reason for it is the expense. It’s an expensive endeavor and a long term commitment but it is something I have wanted since I was a little girl myself and I am going to make it happen. If I don’t do it soon, I may never have the chance again and why risk that. Tori will be going away to college in a few years and I want to be able to spend as much time as possible with her doing the things we enjoy doing together before she goes.